This Journey

January 23, 2012


I look at you now

You’ve traveled so far

No hiding in fear

Come closer to me

Take my hand firmly

And gaze in my eyes

To see my bare soul

No fighting the truth

I come to you now

Follow this dream-scape

Forever to find

I am here for you

I’d give you my heart

I’d give you my soul

You are here for me

You give me your heart

You give me your soul

With you I find peace

Lovingly embraced

No longer fighting

The flow of what is

Finally letting go

Able to accept

All that we do have

And all that we want

Say you hear me

Say what you’ve hidden

In deep far too long

Take the next leap and

We’ll take this journey

And never hold back

The tidal waves of

Love, true and profound

I’m here for you now

I give you my heart

I give you my soul

I love you my dear.

©Ami May 2012

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Just Savor the Moment

August 1, 2011


It’s so hard to breath…and I gasp…breathless…ecstatic…yet nervous…and scared…becoming completely overwhelmed…by mutual feelings of trust…passion…and love…

I am simply amazed at how deeply some words could touch, penetrate and pierce me as they continue to envelope my soul.  I was confident in the knowledge that while I knew the similar statements had been true days, weeks and months before, the words that night had felt of something that burned deep within, and until that night had been so deeply guarded.  I knew without a doubt that, while the melting of the façade would only be for this night and a cool detachment was sure to follow, I would not fall prey to fairy tale stories.

I had been very guarded so many times, showing glimpses of my soul less times than he probably really would believe me admitting to.  I knew the rules of the game, some before spoken aloud, while others were only found by accidentally crossing the lines of comfort, though none worth leaving patience behind.  I’ve learned to read him, though at times, when he always seems to ask the deep questions I do not want to answer, I feel nervous and lose my words, or maybe even revel in the possibility that it is a way to dodge breaking down my walls and asking the same in return.

At times, I feel as though I specifically chose a way to answer those deep questions so as to lead credence to the possibility that I might just be a bit on the overtly over-analytical side and emotionally unstable.  I do not feel I do it purposely for that reason, though I can’t help but question whether it is in the realm of reality to see this as a subconscious defect, or even a type of defense mechanism.

He saw me open up that night in a way he has probably never seen before.  What started out as light conversation led to noticing him intently listening to something I was talking about.  For some reason, in that moment, I saw an excitement and sense of pride, as well as true joy, that I had not at least taken notice of before.  I had seen him opening himself to me and over the course of our time together, seeing that side of him allowed me to feel I could comfortably fall into abandon and break down some of my walls as well.

While it may not be something that can easily be understood completely and I feel it is hard to explain in words, I allowed myself to be vulnerable to him in a way that left me completely naked and anxious for the lashes of mockery to befall my soul.  I finally allowed myself to trust him completely and, as I teased him in a way I very seldom do, I felt myself fall further at ease and contentment and no longer was I twitching in nervous anticipation of ridicule.

I heard many things that night, which culminated in one statement now seared in my brain forever…both realistically and romantically…though more difficult than any other to not lean towards a romantic version of the meaning…

“This feels so right…it feels…like home…”

Please do not question me too much on this, for I just want to forever savor the moment…