Another Monkey Wrench Affecting Me

December 9, 2015

I was just informed that my ex-husband lost his job on Friday and he did not tell the kids about it yet.  I know I won’t say anything yet to our children; I am sure he is reeling enough from this newest loss and I know child support will not be an issue, so there is no reason for me to say anything at this point.

There is so much I could say, though it seems as if I can’t seem to put anything into something coherent, and everything just seems a bit jumbled as I’ve been dealing with so much lately to have anything come together well, especially once my ex-husband waited until the kids went inside to tell me that he was fired.  I sat there totally silent, just staring for a moment, unable to find any words other than to express genuine sorrow for the situation, with concerns about child support as the furthest thing from my mind.

Why did it happen?  Was it just layoffs, cutbacks, downsizing, or something else?  What were his plans at this point?  What was going to be affected by the loss?  Why wasn’t I able to say anything but sit there in shock?

I feel bad that he lost his job.  It appears that it was, somewhat, of an ongoing issue that just finally came to a head and there was no other choice than to let him go.  This definitely was not what he needed in his life right now, especially on the heels of the 2 year anniversary of our divorce, just for starters.

I wish him well, honestly, and pray that he can find something as a replacement soon.  It will affect our children, however, between things I will do myself and his family, they will suffer less than he will by the situation.  May he find peace and comfort with as little pain and stress as possible at this time…he needs it even more than I do…

I wanted to give him the hug he was desperately wanting from me, however, I knew I just was not able to reach over and give him the affection he desperately wanted from me, other than sitting and talking to him for a bit about the current situation with my mom and moving her from one state to begin residing in the same city as us in a few weeks and other idle conversation.  I couldn’t be as warm as he wanted me to be, and it bothers me that I wasn’t comfortable with giving him the affection that he made apparent as what he was seeking with his touching my arm during the conversation to show me that he was wanting to be affectionate due to even my own situations that I’ve been dealing with lately, though I just couldn’t give him the hug that he wanted.  I wasn’t able to give that much of myself, which is very odd for me, as I am an extremely affectionate person, preferring hugs to many other forms of affection; I am in no shape to give him the affection and support he was hoping for from me other than to give my condolences and ensure that I’d work with him on any point of our divorce that might be affected by the job loss, including giving him extra time with our children if needed or wanted.  If nothing else, our children can be of more comfort than I can to him…


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